Roger Slideshow

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sunday Afternoon

Dad's condition remains serious and the exact causes of his symptoms uncertain. He has now been basically unconscious for about 24 hours; he has moments where he opens his eyes, but rarely with anything like "seeing" going on; he has been reduced mostly to non-verbal vocalizations, and when he did speak to Mom last night it was nothing coherent. This morning he was aware enough to respond "hospital" and "HUP" when the doctor asked him where he was, but he then went on to answer "hospital" to all her other questions. Over the past four or five days there has been a gradual, but, when seen altogether, dramatic decline in Dad's overall mental and physical state.

The doctor and his team came by this afternoon, and Mom and I got a chance to hear his assessment and ask direct questions. He was unable to rouse Dad at all, and thought that his sluggishness might be caused by the medication, specifically the Oxycontin and the Ativan, so he prescribed Narcan, which would reverse the narcotic effects of these drugs. He said it may also be caused by blood viscosity, itself a result of calcium being shed from the bones into the bloodstream, as well as the increased protein numbers, both the result of myeloma activity. On the other hand, other tests seem to point away from significantly increased blood viscosity, and the specific lab result for that won't be available for a while. It's also possible that there's some bleeding in Dad's brain resulting from the lowered blood counts, but again, the doctors say that the platelets are not all that low--though he's just received a transfusion to replenish them--suggesting that the root cause is still likeliest to be plasmacytoma--myeloma tumors--in the brain or upper spinal column. The doctors are contemplating a spinal tap to analyze his spinal fluid for signs of the myeloma, but in the meantime expect that the CTscan will show any hemorrhaging or cancerous growth.

As it turns out, the Narcan didn't enable Dad to be much more responsive--he woke up, but was mostly just agitated, without very much ability to interact intelligibly. This seems to suggest that his problem is, as the doctor said, "organic" rather than narcotic. We should know more after the scan results are analyzed.

Sandy, Christine and Erin were in this morning, and Daisy, Ed, Cara and Katherine will be arriving soon via train. Erin and I are supposed to fly out in the morning, but we will still keep all of you updated. Thank you as always for your prayers and many kind calls, emails, comments and other gestures of sympathy and solidarity. Please continue to pray for all of the same things--insight and imagination for the doctors, stamina, encouragement and faith for Mom and Dad, and, still, for some measure of healing for Dad. Pray that he would not be in distress, physical or emotional, and that he would be able to have some mental clarity, some ability to interact with Mom and the rest of us, that he would know that we are with him in this, and that he is loved.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, to be closer . . . .
: (

Auntie Joanie

Becky Wilson said...

First of all, thank you so much for the clear, detailed post. When I think of what it takes to keep all those medical developments straight, it gives me even more respect for what the doctors are dealing with, and what you as a family have to understand in order to follow the procedures and discuss your dad knowledgably. So thank you for that.

The other thing I want to say is, I strongly believe your dad knows his family loves him, and that you are communicating more than it may appear on the surface from his responses. On a deep, deep level, built from lifetimes spent together, your very presence by his side lets him know of your commitment to him, as he has always known it, even before getting sick. The power of touch, and family, and love cannot be overstated. He taught you of Jesus, Who taught you to love, and right now that love is being communicated back to him through simple, ordinary acts. Just breathing in the same room lets him know he is supported, not alone. As we learned this morning from our sister Sue Brunk, you can go through anything if you know you are loved. I am certain that God is using all of you to love on your dad/husband/friend so that he knows he is loved and not alone.

Jesus said, "Behold, I am making all things new!" We have hope in the midst of grief because this is true. May God bless you all tonight.

diane said...

I had a conversation with Karen recently where she described the experience(s) that she and Roger have been having in their walk through the valley, as similar to the way an onion has layers that can be peeled away. And that God has been peeling away the layers of "things" in their lives such that they could see Jesus even more closely. Much symbolism could be drawn here. When I described this to my friend Deb, I pondered it further and thought maybe instead of an onion, a beautiful flower might better describe this process that God was guiding them/leading them/comforting them through and that at the center would be something beautiful. But Deb said, no, I think the onion is right because you can see through the onion directly to Jesus...and further when you get the the very center there is nothing but Jesus! Oh that Roger is seeing, feeling, knowing, yearning for Jesus. Karen, and that you and your sweet children and their spouses, Mildred, and Roger's siblings and their families would be confident, a.k.a. without a single doubt, that you too are seeing, feeling, knowing and yearning for Jesus as He, with purpose, carries you through this Holy time of intimacy. Because you have been unceasingly clinging, for dear life, to the One and Only Creator of all, your Father in Heaven, who reigns with His Son at His side.

We love you and are praying, praying, praying.
Diane, Aunt Diane, Uncle Dan Dan for us all

Anonymous said...

Even though we are separated by so, so many miles, you all are (and have been) so close in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. We too echo Joanie's lament to be closer. We love you and wish we could be physically present with you in the journey. Over the past 25 years you have loved on us and demonstrated to us how a family loves one another. We have been truly blessed by God through you all. In these days we pray that the glory of God will continue to radiate through your lives as it has been so clearly seen by us in the past 25 years. We have so many wonderful memories of our days in Pennsylvania that you were such a part of---from a garden wedding in Huntingdon Valley, 20 years of Thanksgiving celebrations together, high school and college graduations, weddings, and baby showers and so many other sweet times spent together. Our hearts are very heavy but so profoundly grateful to God for His work in our corporate lives.

This past week we listened to Dan Macha's recent remarks at New Life church and have been so struck by the truth of God's goodness to us all. Sometimes God weaves our worst fear with our deepest desire in order to reveal His greatest love to us. We have experienced that and have been engulfed in His love. May you sense His love through every step in the journey.
Much love and prayer,
Phil & Chris Fisher
Gilbert, Arizona

Anonymous said...

Andrew, thank you so much for all the updates. It means so much to those of us who are far away and I know it can't be easy to do. We love you so much and wish we could be with you right now.

Love, Mehera

Anonymous said...

To the Clark family: It has been a long road for the Clark family. Although this is a very painful time for all of you it must be somewhat of a relief that Roger is about to go home and be with Jesus. No more pain, no more suffering, just eternity with Jesus. He will be in a much better place, thankfully. God be with you all and our prayers are with you in this trying time.
The Hagerty's

Leah said...

I am so sorry! I am praying for you as you walk through this really though time!

Anonymous said...

Andrew,

Reading your latest updates breaks my heart. Your pain is so real and the changes over the last few weeks so difficult to process. I really appreciate you sharing and allowing all of us to support however we can, which for many of us who are loving on you from afar, is through prayer.

I am convinced your dad knows you are there and that he is completely enveloped in your love. When we lost my Pop to cancer in February, the last few weeks were heartbreaking and the last few hours nearly unbearable. But we were all there, surrounding his bedside when he went Home. And one of the clearest visions of comfort since then was a dream my mom had a few weeks after he died... it was Pop and Jesus, looking down on all of us as we grieved his pain and our impending loss in those last few moments. The love was palpable. And Jesus had his arm around my Pop and Pop said, "It's so hard to leave them." and Jesus just said, "It's okay. They're going to be okay."

I pray you find comfort and peace together as you escort your dad Home. We love you and we're here for you.

April